Iโm a 40-year-old female, cis-het. I have very discerning tastes in men, and always end up alone. Any way to be more open without sacrificing my standards?
Youโve either had a terrible run of bad luckโassuming youโve dated more than 10 menโor youโve set your standards impossibly high. Some food for thought: perhaps you think you want a long-term relationship because you were told thatโs what youโre supposed to wantโyou were told thatโs what all good people wantโbut you actually donโt want a long-term relationship. They donโt make you happy. But instead of telling yourself that youโre a good person who prefers short-term relationships and/or being alone, youโve set your standards so highโyouโve dialed them up to sabotageโbecause you want to be alone. And instead of owning that about yourself, you find fault in the men you date.
P.S. Thereโs no settling down without settling for.
Is there any way to enjoy anal while having a hemorrhoid?
Nope, sorry. You need to wait for it to heal.
Iโm a 36-year-old man. If I get too psyched out to stay hard for (extremely rare) anal with my wife, should I just get some Viagra?
Well, that depends. Does your wife like long anal sex sessions? If the answer to that question is yes, then Viagra could help. Because in addition to helping you get and stay hard, Viagra and other ED meds can delay orgasm. But if your wife doesnโt like long anal sex sessionsโif she generally wants you to hurry the fuck up and get the assfucking over withโlasting longer could make those already rare anal sex sessions rarer still. Maybe try a cockring instead?
Tips for helping a penis-haver last longer when penetrating other than cockrings? (Cockrings are great, but they donโt help with longevity.)ย
Cockrings are great; I recommended them to another reader five second ago. But while a snug-but-not-too-tight cockring can help keep a penis-haverโs penis hard by gently restricting blood flow out of the penis-haverโs penis, cockrings donโt make penis-havers โlast longer,โ e.g., they donโt delay ejaculation. (Cockring 101: Gentle restriction is good; trapping blood in the penis is not. Cockrings should be snug, not tight.) If youโve already tried all the standard-issue advice to treat premature ejaculation (which Iโve covered before and donโt have the space to re-re-re-rehearse in a Quickies column), an ED med like Viagra might help (for the reasons mentioned above); a low-dose SSRI is also an effective treatment for premature ejaculation.
P.S. Whenever someone writes โpenis-haverโ my slightly dyslexic brain reads โpenis-halver,โ as in, someone who cuts a penis in halfโwhich some people in the body modification community have done, and bon(e) appetit to anyone brave enough to do a Google image search.
For those that like to fuck outside on hikes and while campingโฆ should we be wary of trail cams or go-pros people are hiding in trees for whatever reason? How to spot them?
If people are doing thatโif people are hiding cameras on popular hiking trailsโwell, then you should indeed be wary. Hike the beaten path, donโt fuck on it.
An ex-boyfriend is seeing trans prostitutes. Do I tell his current wife IF an opportunity to do so should arise? And it will, as we live on a small island. I wouldโve wanted to know if we were still together. Should she not be offered the same?
If you truly live on a small islandโsmall enough that everyone knows everyone elseโs business but large enough to have more than one trans sex workerโthen your ex-boyfriendโs wife is gonna find out sooner or later. But even if it means she finds out a little later, it would be better if she found out from someone other than you. Assuming your exโs wife doesnโt already know and approve, if the bearer of bad news is a bitter exโor someone who can easily be cast as oneโyour ex-boyfriend will have a much easier time convincing his wife that it isnโt true. Better she should hear it from the vicar.
Iโm a gay boy in the big city and I want to start doing sex work as a side gig. But I have no idea how to start. First steps?
First steps: get vaccinated against monkeypox, Hep A and B, and HPV, and get on PrEP. Then talk with other people who are doing or have done sex work. There are a lot of sex workers on Twitter; most arenโt there to solicit customers, but to advocate for their rights and create community. Follow and learn.
I met a guy that is very gifted at giving me multiple orgasms, but I have a hard time getting him to come at all. Any advice?
If he doesnโt want to come, donโt make him. No problem. But if heโs not coming because you want to make him come with your own hand, pussy, or mouth and he canโt come that way, then there is a problem here, and itโs you. Give him permission to enjoy oral and PIV and whatever else you both enjoy before finishing himself off with the same skilled hands heโs using to get you off. Problem solved.
What is the best lube for anal sex with sensitive skin?
Weโre big fans of Spunk. Full disclosure: This isnโt a paid endorsementโbut the last time I mentioned Spunk in a column, they sent me a case. That was years agoโฆ and weโre almost out. Cough, cough.
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